Written by Volunteer Kyle Farquharson
To many adults, the possibility of becoming a mentor to a child or teenager can seem daunting. After all, the whole idea of mentoring is to set a positive example and provide guidance to a youngster. But how exactly do you achieve that goal? Is it difficult? According to Big Brother Jay Cormier, 39, the process is actually quite simple: just be yourself.
"There’s no real expectation from Big Brothers that you have to be some sort of ‘guide’ or ‘mentor.’ It’s not like I make a conscious effort to say the right things or do the right things. It’s just about being there.”
As a result of “just being there,” Jay has had the opportunity to offer both guidance and friendship to his Little Brother, Hugh, 14.
"It's been amazing, because Jay is such a talented person and he picks me up when I’m feeling down. He’s just really fun to be around,” Hugh says.
Among Jay’s talents are the ability to juggle and perform magic tricks, aptitudes that owe to an affinity for the performing arts that has informed his personality since childhood. In fact, Jay says his experience as a member of a community theatre troupe as a kid inspired him to become a mentor later in life.
"There were two volunteers who ran the program and looking back as an adult, I realize how much they impacted my life and steered me towards a direction of creativity. So I thought - wow, it would be cool to make any sort of impact like that on a young person and influence his life in a positive way.”
Like Jay, Hugh has a passion for performance. He is currently studying hooping and circus acrobatics and is one of only a few Grade 8 students to have auditioned for his high school’s play last year.
Jay believes the fact that the pair shares so many common interests, like theatre and cinema, has helped to strengthen their bond. A warm rapport exists between Jay and Hugh that reveals itself through their interactions and the two often pound their fists together to indicate mutual respect.
On the lighter side, having a friend Hugh’s age also provides Jay the chance to keep in touch with his inner child, an opportunity he admittedly relishes.
"I think Hugh would agree when I say that I’m a pretty big kid,” he confesses. “And our relationship gives me an excuse to do a lot of kid things and not feel guilty about doing them. Like laser tag!’”
“Actually, I often forget that we’re part of the Big Brothers program. It’s more like - Saturday, I hang out with my friend Hugh.”
Hugh is also quick to emphasize his appreciation for Jay’s contributions to his life and says he is more confident and comfortable in his own skin as a result of Jay’s encouragement.
"In my opinion, he’s a father figure...he’s someone I can look up to, who always gives really good advice. And also, he’s my best friend.”
As you might expect, this statement leads to a wholehearted pounding of the fists.
To learn more about how you can support friendships like these, visit www.bigbrothersvancouver.com or call 604.876.2447.
