Sunshine Coast resident Gary Van Horne, former Big Brother and current In-School Mentor, is now helping to start the Big Brothers Big Sisters Sunshine Coast Ambassadors Group. Van Horne got involved with the children's charity just over 20 years ago when he signed up to become a Big Brother
“I imagined what it would be like to be a young boy and not have a father present in your life – how lost you would feel. I signed up to be a Big Brother because it’s about providing positive role models for young boys,” says Van Horne.
Big Brothers Big Sisters Sunshine Coast matches elementary school aged children with positive adult mentors who spend an hour together each week doing fun friendship-based activities. Studies show that after one year of being involved in the agency’s In School Mentoring Program, children experienced higher levels of self confidence, better grades in school and were less likely than their peers to use illegal drugs or alcohol.
Van Horne explains that mentoring is a two-way street. He believes that he gets just as much out of it as the child does.
“I watched my Little Brother just blossom over the years. Being his Big Brother was about being there for him and spending time with him every week reminding him that he was good enough, just the way he was,” says Van Horne. “Each of my Little Brothers were different, but most of them lived in very difficult circumstances and dealt with poverty, low self-esteem and lacked an understanding of why Dad wasn’t around or why Mom was tired all the time.”
But one Little Brother in particular made a special impact on Van Horne. His name was Kevin*, a brilliant straight-A student and piano player who had just lost his father. When Van Horne met Kevin for the first time, he thought – why does this boy need a Big Brother? But he quickly came to learn that Kevin just needed “guy time” to do things like learn how to throw a ball. Within a few months of being matched, a close friend of Van Horne’s passed away.
“It was my first experience with death. I was 45 years old but this little boy had already had this experience of death. For a month, he became my Big Brother. He helped me cope with my loss and I realized that the reason we were matched was that I was going to need him.”
Five years after Kevin had graduated high-school, Van Horne received a phone call from him. This was the first time Van Horne had heard from Kevin since he turned 18 and graduated the mentoring program. Kevin was in University and told Van Horne that he was becoming a Big Brother because of what had been done for him in his life. “He found a very special way to tell me what I was doing was meaningful – by becoming a Big Brother himself,” explained Van Horne.
Now many years later, Van Horne has moved on to mentor a new child as part of Big Brothers Big Sisters’ In School Mentoring Program on the Sunshine Coast. His Little Buddy Eric* is a curly-haired fifth-grader who has dreams of becoming a professional basketball player. Although he was one of the coolest kids in school, Eric lives in a difficult family situation. He very often didn’t have food to eat for lunch at school so Van Horne suggested that they spend their hour each week making pizza, or playing basket ball and hanging out over a couple of sandwiches.
“Our friendship isn’t about me providing Eric lunch. It doesn’t matter what we’re doing together, just as long as he knows that I am there for him. He developed so much confidence over the year. He said to me once that Thursday is his favorite day of the week. I didn’t have to ask him why. I told his teacher and she said that he is a different kid now and he never skips out on days when I come visit.”
Mentoring is about community and according to Van Horne, it takes a community to raise a child. The Big Brothers Big Sisters Ambassadors Group on the Sunshine Coast was born out of Van Horne’s dream to fulfill the need to grow the mentoring program on the Coast. One day after Van Horne had his first meeting with Big Brothers Big Sisters to talk about the idea, his father passed away.
“I was brought in touch again with what he had meant to me as a role model,” says Van Horne, “I’m now more eager to do this than ever. What I love about this Ambassadors Group is that it will be a group of local people from the Coast who really understand what the need is and how to spread the word.”
The Big Brothers Big Sisters Ambassadors Group will work to bring more awareness to the In School Mentoring Program, recruit more volunteers to get involved and find funding for the program. Those interested in volunteering as a mentor, making a donation or helping out in any way can contact Ashlee Milby at 604.876.2447 x242 or amilby@bigbrothersvancouver.com
For more information about Big Brothers Big Sisters Sunshine Coast visit www.mentorsunshinecoast.com.
*Names have been changed for privacy purposes.
